Winds of Change

Right Now

Love is but a song we sing,
And fear's the way we die.

-Stop laughing at me! I'm serious about this...
-I'm not laughing at you. It's just funny.
-What's funny?
-I think it's funny because you are supposed to be the one with all the answers, and you are asking all the questions.
-You don't understand... I don't have any answers anymore. Maye this is the problem. I don't have any answers for anyone. And you're right. I'm supposed to. There's all these people who think I'm going to tell them what to do with their lives. And right now, I don't know what to do with mine. I feel completely unqualified to do my work now.
-Did you feel qualified before?
-Yes, I did.

You can make the mountains ring
Or make the angels cry

-So, what's changed?
-Everything has changed. But mostly - I don't think we have much time left. I just spent a week at a conference with everyone saying we are in a fight for our survival, and we don't know it. We are in a fight for the survival of freedom and truth and love, against tyranny, deception, fear and hatred. And this is a critical moment. I don't have much hope for freedom and love winning out.

Though the bird is on the wing
you may not know why

-You are still dripping wet.
-Sorry, I just had to do it. The sprinklers sounded too inviting. And felt so good.

Come on people now, smile on your brother
Everybody get together, try to love one another right now

So, this is the question. Do we live in the moment and for the moment, or do we live for the future and what will be best down the road? Do we do what will make this moment the most amazing moment possible, or do we turn away from what it could be in hopes of what might be? And what if there is no tomorrow? What if we wait to have the things we most want, sacrificing it all to do the right thing now, and we never get the happiness we are trying to acheive, and we have lost the opportunity to have it, and we could have had it now. It was possible, it is possible, if we would just say yes to it... Do we live for a future we don't believe in... or do we live to experience the greatest manifestation of potential in each moment we have left?

some may come and some may go
we will surely pass
when the one that left us here
returns for us at last
we are but a moment's sunlight
fading in the grass ...

come on people now
smile on your brother
everybody get together
try to love one another right now

if you hear the song we sing
you will understand
you hold the key to love and fear
all in your trembling hand
just one key unlocks them both
it's there at your command
come on people now
smile on your brother
everybody get together

-Let's live for the moment... Can you get those wet clothes off now?

Burn Baby Burn!

Here is a photo of the beginning of the burn, taken by eyeruh . He really captured the mood of the moment, with the lightning in the background. This is one you must view full-scale to get the best effect. Click on the pic!

I've been doing some real intense soul-searching these past few days. It is time for some major life-changes to begin. The changes may not be obvious to others, day-to-day. And I'm giving myself three years to either adjust my current life, or abandon it all together.  Life is too short to not live each day as fully as possible and I have spent far too many years living with constraints and feeling like I am dying inside - I won't do it again.

On the flip side

Some of you will know what I am writing about and get it. Others will only see another rambling post of nonsense and ask what?

But there is another way to get through this world than what the majority of us are doing each day and night. And there are people making it happen in small pockets. Small pockets of time. Small pockets of people. Small pockets of land. I am convinced this other way is how it was meant to be on this earth and if I could I would disappear into one of these pockets today. This was not a dream, it was 5 days of life on the flip side.

We went bringing only what we could carry, only what we needed, and what we wanted to give to others. There were 1,500 of us. Everyone was beautiful. We slept in tents, on the ground, in domes, in pyramids, in each others' arms and beds. We had 40 acres to build our city that has now disappeared - we burned it all before we left. Everyone took responsibility for themselves, but helped anyone who needed it. There was no money exchanged. No bartering even. You gave what you could to who needed it, knowing you would get what you needed, when you needed it. We fed each other. Gave water to each other. Sheltered each other in the storms. And gave love to all.  People were completely free to do what they wanted to do. People were completely free to be themselves and express themselves however they wanted. People dressed they way they wanted, if they wanted to wear clothes. And there was art and music everywhere. We created art and music all the time. And there was fire - everywhere there was fire.  And there was love. We created love all the time and everywhere.

It is difficult to put into words what happened each day. But 1,500 people came together and created something that will never be created again, in exactly the same way. And it was perfect. In our complete freedom - everyone did what was needed. I don't know how to explain this - but we didn't need the rules of society to make the right decisions. People knew what needed to be done and chose to do it. People didn't take advantage of the freedom for their own benefit over someone else. There was such a diversity of people and things happening - it could have been fraught with disagreements and conflict, but it wasn't. People talked to each other, worked out boundaries and respected each other. And gave to each other from their hearts, not beacuse they had to, not because they expected anything in return. Because they wanted to. We were packed in tight. Very little personal and private space. You could hear the people in the next tent, so close you couldn't walk between them - but it was ok because what ever you did was ok. You could be alone in the crowd if you wanted, or you could connect to any number of people who were open to sharing themselves in intimate sincere ways. All facades came down. People sat at each others' fires and shared themselves. We played with lights at night and glow-in-the-dark body paint, and glitter, and ice. We rode flaming see-saws. We danced in fire and with fire. We showered together. We healed each other, and ourselves. I have never felt as beautiful as I did there.

The last night was the big burn. We had created a huge rocket out of wood to burn, along with whatever else we wanted to burn. A storm was coming in from the west and it was predicted to be bad. The clouds were rolling in thick and black as the sun set. Lightning was streaking the sky in amazing spidery fingers. People walked into the circle of the burn and raised their hands to the sky, pressing the storm back - sending the storm around us. Some collapsed from the output of their energy and had to be carried out of the circle. People were drummimg and dancing and spinning fire. The storm was building and the energy was palpable. Lightning was fierce. And they lit the wooden structure and the flames climbed high. The heat was refining - cleansing. As the structure burned, the wind grew in intensity causing embers to fly over the crowd. There was a moment of near panic as the structure began to collapse - sending fire into one section of the crowd - the section where I was standing with my friends. But no one was hurt as we put out the embers with the help of the fire patrol people with their hoses - which drenched us and our things. But we returned to the fire and warmed ourselves and dried our hair and the tears we had cried at the beauty of it all.  Even now as I write this, tears are rolling down my cheeks. The storm never broke over our burn. It went around us. And we released ourselves to the night and the fire. There was so much beauty and love. We found each other and ourselves in this moment of complete freedom to be. We lived and loved in complete freedom and perfection.  We do not have the words in our language to express what I experienced. 

My life will never be the same. I am not the same person I was before. I am finding it difficult to come back to the life I had, and pick up again. I will be spending every moment I can finding these pockets to be a part of - and maybe some day I will be able to make this my life. That is my goal right now. It may take a few years, but somehow I will find a way to do it.  There is another way to live, on the flip side.