Winds of Change

Oh my!!

He responded to my email!! I didn't think he would. Remember the Man with the Magic Hands? Remember how I said he had given me his email address? Well, he wrote it down on the back of a sticker for a band. The sticker had a website address on it. After I sent the email, I checked out the website out of curiosity, and there he was - lead vocals and percussionist for the band! And, this is a band that is well known in world music circles. They've toured internationally and won awards. So I figured, this man would never respond. He was just being nice in the moment. I mean really, he's got celebrity status. And I'm just a suburban mom trying to make ends meet, and wishing I didn't live in suburbia so I escape to the Oasis of Freedom every chance I get, which isn't very often.

I could hear his voice as I read his email. And wow. I don't know what to do! He said, yes, I remember you, Pisces Lady. And it would be cool to get together - soon.

I'm all flustered now! I just can't imagine being in his presence again. Even that night, before I knew who he is, I was overwhelmed by him and the connection we had. At one point he said, "I've been waiting for you..." I can't believe he responded to my email!

How Did it Come to This?

I came across this short video in this comment thread on Greener Pastures. The blogger wrote about how she has this feeling something horrible is going to happen very soon in our country. One of the commenters left the above link for "How Did it Come to This?". When I viewed it, I burst into tears.

There has been so much pain and loss in the collective conscience of the world since September 11th. Children subjected to war. People killing each other. And it has all happened so fast, the mind can't absorb it all. Sometimes I have to protect myself. If I paid attention to every story of soldiers dying, civillians being killed, people taken hostage, bombs being dropped, I think I would lose my mind. As I was watching the video, CNN reported in the background that eight Marines were killed. Seven more people were killed by a car bomb, while 14 were killed as Iraqi troops fired into civillian vehicles. It makes me sick to my stomach to think of all these people dying. And to see the grief expressed by the people in the video, from our own soldiers to the people of Iraq, war kills our souls - it doesn't matter which side you are on and who wins. Every time someone kills and is killed, it wounds the soul of humanity.

Then on the google news page, there is a story that says Bush has taken a greater lead after the airing of the Osama Bin Laden tape. I see this and I want to scream. Why? Every report has said that terrorism has only increased in the last 3 years. More terrorists have been recruited and more people have died because of terrorist attacks due to the failed foreign policies of the Bush Admin. Can't people understand this? How did it come to this?

I wish people in this country would just stop. Stop everything. Stop shopping. Stop driving somewhere. Turn off the tv. And think about what is happening in our world. For just one day. one hour even. Think about all the deaths. Hold in our hearts the children that have run to hide as bombs fell about them or troops have stormed their streets and houses. There is a small boy in this video, can't be older than 9, who has been blindfolded and is kneeling with his hands tied behind his back. He is our son. We have to understand this. Think about all the people who have held the lifeless body of a loved one in their arms after they have been pulled from the rubble of a bombed home. They are all a part of the family of humanity. We have to understand this. Can we ever acknowledge all the pain and grief that has been wrought on humanity these last 3 years? Can we find it in our hearts to say this must stop?

Sometimes I feel this overwhelming sadness. And I wonder what it will take to make people care. And what will happen to us if there is another terrorist attack. What if the blogger at Greener Pastures is right and we wake up Tuesday morning to something awful.

I try to keep these thoughts out of my mind, but they are there.

Update There are two videos. This one is "How Did it Come to This?"
This one is "Let's Start Over" and is the one I viewed and referenced in writing this post. While they are both good, this one is more powerful, in my opinion.

Excuse me while I gag.

Terror Alert! Terror Alert!!

Osama Bin Laden is still a Boogey Man!

He still wants to attack the U.S.!

He must love Kerry!!

Oh, everyone should realize Bush can't keep us safe!

Terror! Terror! Terror!

Can we vote? Should we leave our homes? What would Osama do?

Where is he? What does this mean? Send the troops to protect the voting sites! Oh wait, we can't, they're all in Iraq...

Terror! Terror! Terror!
What a surprise!

What will Bush say now? What will Kerry say now?

Grab the duct tape!! We're all gonna die!

Be afraid! Be very afraid!
Put on your night vision goggles and look for suspicious people - people who look like OBL!

Should the threat level now be red or orange? Is there something worse than red we can use??

Terror! Terror! Terror!

When NOT to acknowledge a woman's new haircut...

Melina has a new do - go check it out! Very hip and snazzy!

In the comments, Melina rants a bit because someone who should have said something about her new do has failed to say anything at all. I started laughing as this reminded me of a hair-cut acknowledgement that never should have happened...

I have an out of town male friend with benefits. We only get to see each other once a month or so, if we're lucky. The long distance thing is not something we either one really enjoy, but as long as we haven't established a committed relationship locally, we've agreed we enjoy each other's company enough to make the trip when we can. So a few months ago, I went to visit him, and had gotten my hair cut - a drastic change from the previous time he had seen me. When I walked in to his home, he didn't say a thing about my new do. We spent a couple of hours on the couch, drinking wine and catching up, and still... no mention of the new look. Then we move to the bedroom. We are both undressed and I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, he has walked up to me, and well... my head is tilted down and my mouth is busy... So from his view, he could see the back of my head and back...And what does he say?? "Hey! You got your hair cut!!" I immediately started laughing hysterically. He was like, "Wow... I guess the timing for that wasn't so good - but I do like your new haircut!" Talk about a mood killer! I couldn't stop laughing. The whole weekend, when we would run into friends, and they would compliment my new haircut, I would start laughing and say, "Yeah, you ought to see it from the back..."

Presidential Overload

I can't take it anymore. My brain hurts. My soul is weary. I am worried about Nov. 2 and what will happen in this country, and not just who will be our next president. The rhetoric has reached frenzied levels. It's like there is so much that needs to be said, truly important things, that no one can pay attention to any one thing so all we get now are chants of "4 more years!" or "4 more days!". I get sick to my stomach every time I see Smirking George delivering a campaign speech and want to throw things at my t.v.

Rather than blogging about why people should vote for Kerry, because if you haven't come to that conclusion by now, it's a lost cause, I'm going to post questions for you to answer in the comments. Feel free to post these questions on your own blog, too!

1. Who will receive the majority of the popular vote - Kerry or Bush?
2. Who will receive the majority of electoral votes - Kerry or Bush?
3. Will we know who the next President is on Nov. 3rd?
4. Are you confident that the elected candidate will actually become our next President? If not, what is the most likely scenario for one of the candidates to become our next President through illegitimate means?
5. Where and how do you plan to watch the election returns?
6. What do you think will happen if there is a repeat of 2000 and a perception that the election has been stolen? What will you personally do if this is the case?
7. If you are a Kerry supporter and Bush stays in the WH - what will you do for the next 4 years?

My answers:
1. I am not completely confident that Kerry will receive the majority of the popular vote, but when I read about the increase of voter registration, especially of minorities, I get hopeful. So I'm going to say Kerry is the one who will receive the majority. Bush didn't receive the majority of the popular vote in 2000, and I can't imagine more people supporting him this time around.
2. Cautiously, I'm going to say Kerry. See #4.
3. No.
4. No. I have this sinking feeling that the Bush Admin. has no intention of relinquishing control of our country, and will stop at nothing to keep themselves in power. My biggest worry is that the electronic voting machines will allow for vote fraud, and we may not ever know what happened. I think a majority of the people will go to the polls to vote for Kerry, but we may not see their votes actually recorded and counted. And all the voter suppression activity going on may prevent people who want a regime change in D.C. from ever getting to participate in the election.
5. I've thought about this a lot. I have a feeling I will just stay home, with a bottle of wine, or two. I don't want to be in public - like at a pub or something, because if Kerry is winning, I won't be able to cheer without worrying about my physical safety, and if Kerry is losing, I don't want to be around all the celebrating Republicans. I'll either drown my sorrows or celebrate in the privacy of my home.
6. I am predicting violence and riots if there is a repeat of 2000. If people are being turned away at the polls, I expect things will get ugly. And if there is another inauguration of Bush, and it happens because of questionable electoral procedures - I will join those who go to protest in D.C. They can carry me off in handcuffs - I've been arrested for protesting before, I'll do it again. I won't go quietly into that dark night.
7. I've begun looking into the process of becoming a tax resister. I do not want a single penny of my tax dollars to go towards supporting the actions and policies of Bush. I also dream of leaving the country.

Now, it's your turn...

And we danced.

As the earth passed between the sun and the moon, T, C and I made our way to the warehouse district, eager to arrive at our destination. We rolled the car windows down and watched the eclipse as we laughed and swapped stories about the men in our lives. This was the first time for T to go to our Oasis of Freedom, the second time for C, and I'd gone at least 7 times before.
We find a place to park on the street and get our drums out of the trunk of car, and make our way inside.
After having our i.d.'s checked we purchase a pitcher of frozen sangria to share. Carrying drums and drinks, T,C and I walk through the rows of tables where people are selling a variety of items. It is early still so we are able to find an open picnic table on the edge of the open space where people dance and hoop, and where the drumming will take place.

Before long, the band started playing their phish-style music. The bass player, Johnny, is sweet with a shy smile. One night, when I was there with another friend, we started the Johnny fan club, getting the whole crowd to chant his name. I go in search of the hula-hoops behind the stage and find 2 to play with.

C and I have hooped together before, and she has turned it into a competitive sport. Not competitive like in who can hoop the longest, but who can get the closest to the other - sort of like playing chicken! These hoops are much bigger than the kind you buy in toy stores. They are usually homemade, using 1 inch poly-tubing and when stood on their edge, are shoulder high or taller. The bigger the hoop is, the easier it is to keep it up. C is in the skirt and I am wearing the red pants.

Finally midnight arrived and the drumming began.
As the rhythm intensifies, people move to the center of the circle and begin to dance.



Yes, there are leopard spots on her legs.

The drumming lasted nearly an hour. Here are some images. I like the mysterious feel of some of them! And the ghost drummer was a powerful presence.

After the drumming had come to an end, I was sitting at our table, icing my hands. The man in the red clothing came over to me and asked if my hands were hurting and took my hands in his and pulled me to my feet. "Close your eyes" he said, and I did. He stood behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders then massaged each arm, working down to my hands. It was as if he was gathering the energy in my arms and hands, into his own, and he pulled the energy out as he gently pulled on my hands and fingers, and then shook them, releasing the energy. When he finished, my hands no longer hurt. I usually have to ice my hands a long time and they are often sore the next day, and sometimes bruised. My hands do not hurt at all today! And I felt like I had had sex, right there in front of everyone. I don't know what he did, but I'd pay to have him do it again!

As T, C, and I were preparing to leave, the man with the magic hands came back to me, and said he wanted to see me again, giving me his email address. And he kissed me. I was floating as I walked back to our car. It was a fantastic night.

It was heaven

I will post more tomorrow...

Moon Watch 2

I don't know how to explain this pic. It is the moon behind tree branches. It looks like a huge mass of clouds opening up to expose the moon. Just thought I would share. Click on the photos, in this or other posts, if you want to view them in full size.

Moon Watch

The moon is full and just rising above the tree line at the end of my street. It is hard to catch moon shots with a digital camera, but this one isn't too bad!
The eclipse should begin in the next 25 minutes. I may have time to get one or two more pictures before I leave for my night of dancing and drumming.

Many times, my moon photos look like this... just a tiny motion of the hand holding the camera can make the moon look... well... like this...

Happy eclipse! Go outside and watch it! It is supposed to be amazing tonight.

And we will dance

Tonight has been planned for weeks. Two women I work with and I are making the trek to the oasis of freedom I discovered with MELB. It was the first time I met MELB. I was sitting alone at the local pub I go to sometimes, drinking a Cosmo and writing poetry in my journal. He came over to ask what I was writing, and we talked for over an hour before he said he had to leave. He was going to a place where they had a drum circle and live music. Without hesitation I asked if I could follow along - I love to drum and had not found a group to drum with. This place is about a 45 minute drive away, in a much larger city than where I live. It is in the middle of a bunch of warehouses. And it is like going somewhere very far away. The music is live and played outdoors. The people who show up are a wonderful mix of old hippies and young activists. There are people who sell handmade items like jewelry and clothes, incense and massage oils. Everyone kicks off their shoes and dances in the dirt. We also hula-hoop. And at midnight, the band takes a break and we have a drum circle that can last over an hour before the dancing resumes.

The three of us are going there tonight. We will bring our drums and hoops. We will watch the moon as the lunar eclipse darkens the night sky, and we will dance.